Help
Sign In
QaR
October 2009 
obviously, my days are numbered...
Posted on Jun 13th, 2007
by 
Laura
Laura
....since i am a cat person :) this is hilarious!
Dog diary vs. Cat diary...
DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite
thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make
my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
something in order to
keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going
is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on
the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they
merely made condescending comments about what a "good
little hunter" I am.
Idiots.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I
must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was
walking. I must try
this again tomorrow....but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an
informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in
an elevated cell, so he is safe....at least for now.
Dog diary vs. Cat diary...
DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite
thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make
my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
something in order to
keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going
is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on
the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they
merely made condescending comments about what a "good
little hunter" I am.
Idiots.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I
must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was
walking. I must try
this again tomorrow....but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an
informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in
an elevated cell, so he is safe....at least for now.
Access: Public
No assortment of emoticons nor exclamations could possibly convey my giggles!
Brilliant.
I saw this three days ago. Its taken me three days to recover from the laughter ! Thanks a million Laura, and thanks Laurie for being a wayfinder and posting it in a response on my blog.