hands down, i would be my cat, monkey.  that little bugger is so handsome, so spoiled and so loved... i couldn't ask for anything more!

little background: this excerpt started out as an email to a friend, but it ended up being a journal entry as everything i've been thinking about lately just came tumbling out! ironically enough, it's about the concept of "opinions," and yet i'm hoping that some of you will give me yours, lol! really, i'm looking to bounce my ideas around...see if i can gain insights from you wise souls that can get me somewhere past where my questions currently leave me... :)

i'm using these crazy things i'm encountering lately as little meditations/reflections, and it's been pretty interesting. this is what i've come up with so far... i've noticed that i get invested in people's relationships and other such things, but lately, i've put effort into trying not to. whether i "approve" or not doesn't really matter. no one will ever break up just because i think their relationship isn't a great idea, nor will people stop their personal dramas just because i think they should. people will do what they're going to do, and it'll all play out as it's meant to, regardless of my opinion, which is really just that--my own little opinion. and hell, what do i know?
i've been thinking that if how someone else is living is driving me crazy, then i should be focusing my attention on WHY it's making ME crazy..cuz there's usually a lesson for me there. i've noticed that a lot of my 'little opinions' may start by coming from a place of compassion, but end up spouting out from a place of judgement. i may start out thinking i don't want someone to get hurt, but my opinion may end up with a harsher tone of "wtf is wrong with you?!" when does that switch happen? and why does it happen? what am i not paying attention to? what role is my ego playing in assuming that i know best? what can i do to shift that? and an underlying lesson that i'm still very much struggling with is there also: i'm not responsible for people and they way they choose to live their lives. to want to prevent such 'hurt' is to prevent growth and learning on their part. my knee jerk reaction is to "swoop in and save". but is that always really best? in more severe cases--abuse, etc--i think it is. but on what level is it interfering with a bigger process? on what level is it an assumption, or even an unconscious judgement, that this person can't learn and grow on their own?

hmm. i would affect a lot of people either way.. everyone in my time would benefit from whatever i was being recognized for, and maybe be able to integrate it into their lives, which would have an effect on their children, etc. even if i wouldn't be recognized later as "the one who did/gave us x thing" it would still be affecting the lives of people beyond me. i like that.  not being recognized now and geting credit for something later might affect many more people farther down the line, since it might keep whatever i did continuously cycling through societal generations as kids learned about me and my contributions in school or whatever. while i'm not big on being in the spotlight, it might be frustrating to have this great idea or invention that would help a lot of people, but not have it be taken seriously my entire life, and never know that someday, people would realize it kicked ass! i guess maybe i'll go with the former then--spotlight it is! :)

wow, it's tough to pick one person!!  so many people have taught me so many important things in my life... but if we're going for quantity and quality put together, of course, it would have to be mom! she was my introduction into this world, and taught me all of the basics and then some!

in my experience it's been a stepping stone to experiencing love and joy.
i was raised baptist. when i was little and believed in God, i thought he was the coolest guy in the entire world!! i recall being saved as one of the highlights of my youth, because it meant he was my best friend, loved me unconditionally, and was always supporting me to do the right thing. i was radiantly happy all the time. as i got older i became disillusioned and searched for something that fit me better. recently i've been reconnecting with my higher/true self, and i realize that i feel exactly like i did when i was young--i feel loved, supported, and happy. and i think that maybe all i've done is dropped my pastor's ideas and simply rediscovered for myself the best friend i had as a little girl.

probably mona amelie's smile- my 3 month old niece. i haven't met her yet, but her mom (one of my best friends) sends me pictures regularly, and she's really starting to come into her own. when she's happy, the camera captures her radiant joy. it's infectious! :)